Tuesday, February 06, 2007

At Anderson Cooper 360 blog they are asking Can people change from gay to straight?

That is a great question, and like most of the people out there, I thought the answer was written in stone: no way! But life takes you through strange venues and situations... and this is what I sent to the 360 blog - I posted late, do it might not make the cut, particularly if the Anns have their share- :

I was one that thought it was simply impossible, until I met an odd case. My friend was an openly gay executive, prominent in his local gay community, non apologetic and quite outspoken against the "closet cases". He lobbied fervently for gay rights, he truly wanted to marry his long time lover and then the unexpected happened. He got involved with a a fellow female co-worker. It was a huge scandal. Both married (although he wasn't legally, he felt he was morally). They both divorced, she got pregnant and now are married. I have to admit that I was (and fellow colleagues ) more uncomfortable with the situation than them. We didn't want to do anything with their wedding, and he even had to leave the workplace. Once a friend confronted him and he bluntly answered: "It's MY choice". Against all odds they are still together. What scares me is our reactions to things that we can't label... we tag everything. But isn't love - in its essence - the purest feeling? I think of love as something completely different from sex. Sex, we hope, is a manifestation of love, although for some is just a manifestation of sheer lust, like the steam of a teapot. Our sexuality, and its execution, can't and shouldn't be boxed. Sexuality is very personal and an individual intimate expression of ourselves. My friend recently told me that he battled his entire life against gay discrimination, but he never expected the levels of antagonism and hatred - particularly from the community he represented - after he chose his new life. Our sexuality is not a community matter. It is a personal intimate option. And political correctness, religious standards or bigotry shouldn't have any space in our decisions of how we express it, unless it is not consensual or it is meant to hurt someone who doesn't have the means to understand the act. So I learned my lesson: don't judge, don't be afraid of political incorrectness, and be true to your feelings.

13 comentarios:

Anonymous said...

Is this case true? WOW

Rudy said...

Once the Anns are posted, they close the comments, so I don't think your post will make it.

This is a very unconventional situation. I hope they - the couple you talk about - will make it. And if he was very open about being gay, I hope his child will have the skills to manage the situation.

And you are right, political correctness is killing us.

Anonymous said...

Poor man! that must be worst to come to terms with than getting out of the closet.

Anonymous said...

I just read ACs blog and the Anns posted. Sorry!
Most of the answers are from religious experiences, this account is interesting because there is no religion in it, and the man wasn't confused. He seemed to be at ease being gay.

ivy said...

I believe it's possible to change from gay to straight as well as the other way around. I'm not talking about lying to yourself. Not for anybody of course, there are a lot of complex reasons that could influence that. Sad how people can make somebody's life miserable by trying to put them on a labled shelf in their narrow mind.

Anonymous said...

I read one time in a psychology magazine that your sexuality is defined by who you choose to love, not lust.

People can have sexual experiences that not necesarrily resemble their preferences.

jr said...

@Christiane: What a well thought out and interesting response to the question of whether people can change from gay to straight. I, like you, submitted a response to the AC360 blog late too and was disappointed that the "Ann's" once again took over that blog! Glad you shared it with us here. I basically answered the question in reference to sexual attractions but you added the "love" aspect which is something I didn't really think about. My guess is that this topic will continue to be debated and I'm sure it will keep the AC360 blog bopping. I'll keep my fingers crossed that your response makes the cut!

Christiane said...

Thanks Jr!

The Original Miranda Lane said...

I started to post a comment here, but I turned it into its own post on my blog. Basically, I disagreed with the statement that sexuality is not a community matter. I think it is. And while I was writing the comment I started to wonder about a "cure" for other unaccepted "norms".. and maybe it got a little controversal and personal, but it was an interesting exercise for me at least, so thank you for your post as it inspired mine.

Anonymous said...

Nevermind religious beliefs. Three years of high profile Family Law netted a switcheroo from gay to straight and vice versa on several occasions. In each situation, love was the determining factor. What is interesting is that such strong emotion is not necessarily reached by everyone at the same time and in every situation. Oftentimes it takes a specific person to bring out emotions one never knew they had.
As usual, the 360 blog rat drowned itself 6 ft under with the Ann's useless remarks. It isn't enough that those broads advertise their couch potato, pathetic existances to the world. No, blog viewers must see their mundane ignorance displayed daily.

Anne said...

I have a sister-in-law who was openly gay from her teen years through her thirties. Our family was always supportive, the girlfriends came over, our kids called them "aunt"- it was a perfectly acceptable situation. Today, she's married to a man (and has been for about five years now) and is expecting a child. There was no radical religious conversion, she just fell in love with a man. Who you fall in love with is who you fall in love with and that can change as each person changes and grows.
I think that for this preacher in particular, his "conversion" had more to do with appearances than with how he truly feels. But, I probably shouldn't say that because I really don't know...

jr said...

@Christiane: Looks like your submittal didn't make the AC360 blog. Any comments submitted after 7:45pm last night got shunned! I, like you, can also join the AC360 rejected blog comments club, however, I have been blogging over there today and my comments are getting posted...go figure.

Christiane said...

Hi everyone!
I simply LOVE the route this comments have taken. I read Miranda´s post and I simply couldn't stop jabbing to my colleagues how happy I was with your responses, because that is what we set to do when we decided to create this blog. View all perspectives with responsibility and respect. I will like to explore with you all what topics are worth exploring. We all come from different backgrounds and are here for a tons of different reasons. So shout out to me! Let me know!

HUGS
Christiane

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