Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Anderson Cooper's Personnel Problems

Anderson Cooper and his show haven't been very lucky in the headhunting department... It is a stressful job, and the correct set of priorities are a must. But it seems that they have switched producers, and the blog is suffering for that.

In this joint post, Newsjunkie and I try to expose what is going on behind the scenes.


Illustrations by Christiane

As has now become painfully obvious, the 360 blog has gone to hell.

Here is our most shared viewpoint on what is likely going on in the back of the CNN newsroom with the moderators:

Betty Ann, our favorite comment woman of all time, has been posting poetry left and right. What is the point of THAT? The other half of her brain (I think there is one in there....) Lori Ann, is disagreeing... apparently with herself. But I’ve already written her next post for her!


Dear Anderson!

I absolutely love your show. You are just DARLING!! Please come on over, We made brownies, and I think we’re brain-dead. I really do. I knew you were talking to us tonight, your eyes were speaking volumes. I just wanted to make sure that this isn’t some type of, like, hallucination that we’re having. Or I could come up to New York, and I’ll bring the recipe for pot brownies with me! Would you like that, sugar pie? I heard the score between you and us is growing! It’s not three to three anymore!

Oh, and I wrote you a poem:

Hello Andy,

My name is Betty Ann

I’m also known as Lori Ann

I’m so crazy

And fat and lazy

I wish you were here to tell my story

I’ve got a bunch of dogs you see

And can make you some pot brownies

So really Andy

Come my way

Come then, and stay

I took my pills for sanity

I’ve got a split personality

You are so cute

And hot and sexy

I’d like to see you

Oh, Andy, please!

~Betty Ann and Lori Ann (it's a satire, ok?)


Apparently “Mark the Moderator” loves Betty Ann and her alter ego Lori Ann- he said so right in the comments! She is apparently his “favorite commenter”...

SO! Let’s have a vote. The CNN 360 blog moderators are:

  • (1) Drunk
  • (2) Stoned
  • (3) Slamming Red Bulls
  • (4) Have their heads up their asses.
  • I’m voting for “all of the above”.

~ Post by Sharla Jones, a.k.a. “newsjunkie”~

- Illustrations By Christiane

53 comentarios:

Anonymous said...

You should do this IN THE MORNING!
So I can smile through a work from hell.

ROTFL

Anonymous said...

OMG!! You guys are so cruel. I LOVE IT!!

Rebecca said...

Can someone tell me the story from the beginning?
moderators? why? how? when? to whom?
I dont read the comments on the CNN blog, so please hlep me out.

newsjunkie said...

@rebecca- you should have a look then. The comments on the 360 blog are moderated, meaning that you can post a comment but it has to be approved by someone before it actually gets posted. For the last week or so, the comments that have actually been posted have been straight up BIZARRE- the commenters are insulting the hell out of each other, calling names, and two of my comments were posted, one in which I said Anderson had diarrhea of the keyboard and another where I complained about his incessant promo posts and screamed "CUT IT OUT ANDERSON!!"

I couldn't believe, for one, that those got posted. I also couldn't believe that there were at least ten comments insulting someone named EM from Canada. I teased her but I didn't insult her!! I sent in another comment (well, it didn't get posted) saying almost exactly what I said here- are you guys drinking, sleeping, or stoned? I told them to GET WITH IT- they apparently, have ignored me.

Fuck 'em then. They're making a mockery of Anderson, his show, and the blog. I already said his whole damn production crew should be FIRED and then I realized that it's actually KLEIN who is doing all the fucking with his show.

Impeach KLEIN? YEAH. Replace him with Betty Ann? The fawning drooler over Anderson? HELL NO!! How about someone with a Journalism Degree, instead of that MORON Jonathan Klein. And YEAH, I just insulted the merry hell out of Klein and I know that CNN reads this blog, too. BITE ME. Pay attention to some of your intelligent readers and STOP SCREWING THE FUCK UP!!!

sydney said...

Option 5: Moles from Fox News, planted to sabatoge 360.

That clip last night about the pot brownies was probably the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.

newsjunkie said...

I figured while I'm busily screwing any chance I would ever have in my whole life of working with CNN, I'd write a nice letter:

Dear Production Crew of 360:

Please stop zooming the camera in on Anderson's ass. Yes it's a very nice ass but I didn't turn on CNN to look at it. Also please find some consistency in what the hell you throw at him to report. He's a good reporter, let him do it. He can't read the teleprompter, just throw it out and let him ad-lib because he's hysterical. Oh, and move Erica Hill in from Georgia or wherever the hell she is and put her in New York. She and Anderson are great together. Of course, whenever he has another person to work off of, he tends to go all wiggy and say some pretty fucking hilarious shit. On second thought don't do that.

And while you're at it, production guys, please stop swinging the camera around. I swear one day I was going to be seasick and I think I saw a boom mic. Yeah. Real cool. You got students in there or what? Oh wait, I know. You let that one intern (the one that was timing how long he was in the bathroom taking a dump) holding the camera. That explains the ass shots.

No I haven't been drinking, but apparently Anderson does and you people let him be photographed as he practically falls all over the ground. Get him a personal assistant already that won't let him walk outside like that. He can do whatever he wants but seriously, he shouldn't make a fool of himself. He's completely destroying whatever credibility he has left.

No wonder he abandoned his own blog. It's a wonder you dumb fucks haven't scared the holy hell out of him. Waiiittt... that's Stalker Boi's job. How come you morons aren't monitoring this shit? How come I AM? Because I think you're totally out of it. GET WITH IT.

P.S. You're all fired.

Love, Sharla Jones.

Anonymous said...

Erica can't leave Atlanta because her little baby and husband are down there.

Get Tom Foreman in there with him. Better yet, Richard Quest. He and Anderson together in the same room, I don't know if I could stand it. Their act leaves Erica in the dust.

Christiane said...

OH Dear Lord!
Newsjunkie has turned into Trump!

God save us all!

ROTFL

Christiane said...

News Corporations move people around as needed, they cover all relocation expenses. But HLN has a strange way to deal with their talent. I would have brought Erica to CNN and op-out on Kiran.
Last time I checked the ratings of American Morning were as bad or worse than with The O'Brian Twins, not 100%sure.
I think they should really invest in good producers, they already have great inside talent.

anonymousaba said...

I must have rolled off that turnip truck and landed on the concrete. I never knew Anderson drank, much less he fell all over himself in the street. WOW. I don't know what to say, other than he's the last person I'd expect to hear had a bit too much. What's with his he doesn't drink hard liquor stmt? He seems to crave the credibility and cringe when online blogs laugh at the underwear in shower jokes. If this is the case, the booze isn't going to get him where he wants to go. I don't know which is worse - the underwear jokes or the drunken photos. Amazing what one learns on this blog.

anonymousaba said...

INTERESTING letter, newsjunkie. I'm still spinning from the booze abuse comments. That's outrageous! You do win in the Trump category. He loses immediately with that crazy combover.

newsjunkie said...

Oh yeah... we know lots of embarrassing things about him. Imagine what we DON'T say!!

I have no idea how the topic of Anderson getting wasted even came up. Oh yes I do... *my bad*... I started it by mentioning the "sexy comments" that went bananas after the Chesney-and-Anderson drinking at some party thing.

Course, the pics could be completely over-imagined and totally not what they seem at all. YEAH RIGHT. Poor Anderson- how humiliating.

newsjunkie said...

Anonymousaba, I didn't say ALCOHOL ABUSE!!! It's just that he seems to be caught by cameras every time he's had too many.

I can think of four whole photos where I've seen "DRUNK ANDERSON". That's not very many. But even one picture, IMO, is too much. People are out to destroy him in one way or another, and that is certainly not helping. For all I know, those are the four whole times he's had anything to drink in five years. I DON'T KNOW. I'm not hypothesizing that the man is an alcoholic!

(don't mean to yell, I like you. it's just that I'm really frustrated with the AnderAbuse and AnderDUMMY things lately. POOR GUY!!!)

Christiane said...

I don't think its fair to claim AC is wasted for just one photo. He might be drinking orange juice as far as we know. Being TIRED gives the same glare of wastedness than alcohol. And we all know he have all the reasons for being tired.

We have to be CAREFUL with that kind of comment, next thing Gawker picks it up and gets a photo of him with a glass in his hand... not nice!

Unless he gets arrested with a DUI for which we then could say he was wasted... but it is not the case

newsjunkie said...

Yes, endless speculation based on incomplete and probably inaccurate information is not fair.

I'm going to cut it out now, because I'm the one looking like a dumb-ass. *Sorry Anderson* :(

Christiane said...

Nappy time for Newsjunkie!

newsjunkie said...

Yeah cuz I just slammed vodka and who knows what the hell I might say in five minutes. Logging off now before I make a fool of MYSELF. *woo* I have low tolerance, no wonder I don't drink often and this vodka has been in my friddge since February... ohhh making myself look dumb already. bye bye

Anonymous said...

I don't know about a drunk Anderson, but there has to be SOME explanation for why he sometimes appears on camera in a his fancy suit, BUT with white socks and sneakers. Like last night. The camera people enjoy catching him all stretched out with his white socks showing.

Betty B. said...

@ Christiane- the images are just hillarious. Loved them. A cat moderating the 360 blog makes a lot of sense!!!!

I agree, we should be careful what we say about Anderson, especially because we want the 360 moderators to know that they are the dumb ones and finally get the message. And at times I dont think they are stoned just irresponsible and not very professional.

I doubt serious people take anything they post on that blog as news or worth a read. IMHO just because Anderson is "popular" doesnt mean CNN should drop the quality and professionalism most people expect from a news buisness organization!

jr said...

Great Blog Post Christiane and Newsjunkie!!!! The laughs just keep continuing over here!

The AC360 Blog used to be educational and enjoyable to read but now it's just a joke, IMHO. I think the reports that are posted are good but I'm bored with the commenters! What should happen is the regulars need to get shunned for a change!

I also think it is funny that those bloggers kept asking for Anderson to blog and for awhile there he was blogging quite consistently until the bloggers started on that downward spiral of bitching the other day of which he then stopped.

Serves them all right. And kudos to Anderson for bitch slapping the blogger who accused AC360 of taking sides by interviewing Hitchens yesterday. He needs to stick up for his show more often. I like when he gets feisty!

ivy said...

christiane, love the pics! rotfl! I stopped reading 360 blog some time ago cause it was same old tired comments. I got a kick of the "anns" reading it yesterday -lol. I don't know since when it became just like "anderworld" forums with the same people and bitching -)

I agree with being a little more careful with comments and drawing conclusions. Even if there's a pic or two of a guy at or after a party what's a big deal? Even if he's a known journalist. What's the crime of a grown-up man having a drink or two at his leisure time? Beer and wine are NOT hard liquors. Photos can be deceiving, If you're tired as a dog or didn't eat and have just one drink if can reflect on your eyes. And as christiane said a person might be just exhausted or a photo taken at a wierd angle or lighting. Let's try not state what we assume as facts, cause it can be confusing even for regulars, an occasional visitor from the wrong place might believe it IS a fact and start digging in that direction.

Anonymous said...

Anderson needs to start telling off more people on 360 if necessary. Good tv.

newsjunkie said...

What? I missed Anderson bitch slapping a commenter?? DAMN!

Good thing I DVR'd it then, cuz last night I was a little... er- tipsy? Um, no, I was straight up drunk.

Can't wait to have a look now!! :D

Anonymous said...

newsjunkie- you were drunk last night? was that before, during, or after you made this post? Either way, it's pretty funny!

newsjunkie said...

What is this, a confessional?

Last night somehow, we ended up on the topic of Anderson drinking. By the end of the day, the comments section had gone bananas- people were practically insinuating that poor man is a (a) wild partier (b) lush (c) alcoholic... you get it. What there IS, is four whole pictures of Anderson drinking. *whoopie* And, as has been pointed out by Christiane, Myself, and Ivy- having one drink and being tired as hell will make you look wasted even if you're not. We really gotta be more careful with our observations (that does include me!) because those sort of statements can be damaging and I'm pretty sure that none of us is intending to do Anderson any damage. We like him, remember?

And to answer the question, it was AFTER. Somewhere around 8 pm, after reading endless speculation about Anderson being drunk, I rummaged around in my fridge to see if there was any alcohol in it. WAY in the back was this dinky little bottle of Smirnoff left over from the SuperBowl in February. I was like... why is it so small? And so... I dumped it in a cup and tossed it back. Twenty minutes later I discovered why it was so small- it was 70 proof straight vodka, that's why. I fell right out of my chair and was flopped on the floor giggling and singing songs in French about a pretty duck. Good thing I logged off right before then :)

And that's also a good point about Anderson. If you've got an empty stomach, you're tired, and you have one (way too) strong drink, you can be tanked really quick and without meaning to, especially if he's a lightweight like me. That doesn't mean one thing bad about him as a person. However... like I said... someone really should keep the cameras away from him at that point in time, because it can be embarrassing later, you know what I mean?

Anonymous said...

@newsjunkie
people weren't insinuating, YOU WERE insinuating.

newsjunkie said...

I know that. It makes me look like a complete asshole, I am aware of that too. I have no idea what to do about it other than apologize for reading too much into something I know nothing about. I attempted to do so by pointing out that there are only four pictures, and those could have been the four times he drank in the last five years for all I know. Sometimes I go overboard with my opinion, and I'm also adept at making myself look like a fucked up dumbass. Point taken.

anonymousaba said...

You made a few observations after viewing some photos. Give yourself a break, newsjunkie. You expressed your opinion at the moment; you're entitled to it. You can alter your thoughts later, as well. Nothing said on any blog is set in stone. Have you had a chance to look at those class notes?

Anonymous said...

First off, I love you guys! I love the way you call it as you see it, whether it's good or bad. Keep up the good work. Second, the blog on the 360 website about the religion class in schools, did anyone notice that the post by Annie Kate in Birmingham, AL actually links you to her website? Has the 360 website ever done that before? Do you think they checked her site out before they posted her comment with her link? That seems weird to me. I can see them setting up a direct link a relief organization or govt. agency, but a blogger's site?
And I'm not saying anything bad about Annie Kate or her site. Just the fact that I have never known them to do this, and I could be wrong. Maybe they do this often and I have just never run across it until now.

Y'all are right about another thing, something strange is going on over there. Even with the show. It just seems like they can't get their act together and they are all over the place.

They may need to go on one of those "workplace retreats" and regroup.

newsjunkie said...

Well I fired all of them, so, let's just get some new people in there and put the place back together!

ivy said...

@anonimousaba- the problem with expressing opinion the way it was is when it's stated as a fact and not an opinion. I know, you take it as a fun thing, which it was ment to be, but here's the danger.

Remember AC's internship leaked? Quite a few times after that I've read on fan blogs that it was picked up from the old ACE (peter's blog) where that topic was discussed. I haven't read it at the time so I'm not sure if ACE was accused cause some commentors there guessed correctly or the whole discussion and suggestions prompted a gossip e-magazine to take on the topic. Of couse I don't think that's where radar got the real informaion and proof. But would you want to feel responsible or be pointed fingers at yourself and the blog in general for making assumptions for fun?

@Newsjunkie, I'm glad you're taking notes -)

branscomeamb said...

I couldn't sleep last night and I took a look at the 360 blog. Y'all are right, Betty Ann, Lorie Ann write in everyday on every subject. Betty Ann invited herself over to someone's house for okra and Lorie Ann got on to someone for using her name on their post. It's a cross between Match.com and Bloggers Gone Wild at AC 360.

Anonymous said...

You people say that you admire Cooper and want him to be respected for his professional skills instead of being treated like just a pretty face without substance. Yet you spend most of your time discussing his personal life (in a hostile tone) -- disparaging his taste in home decor, speculating negatively on his mental and emotional state (complete with references to such pseudo-sciences as body language and handwriting analysis), calling him a drunk, even attacking his mother -- and the rest of your space is devoted to shallow amateur psychology about stalkers. This thing reads like a fan mag for teens, albeit painfully disturbed and/or drunk ones, by writers of the same stripe.

anonymousaba said...

@Ivy, I know what you're saying and I agree with you 100% from a laypersons standpoint. From a legal standpoint, however, blogs are NOT to be taken seriously as FACT because they are exclusively opinion based unless stated in legal format otherwise. I don't understand why bloggers take the word of gossip or opinion as gospel, yet they know better than to accept 100% of what the media minds tell us.

newsjunkie said...

I think I'm going to leave now.

You're right. We're becoming as bad as some of the other blogs- and that's something I always said I don't want to be. You emulate what you see, be it positive or negative.

I'd rather have positve.

Anonymous said...

anonymous 2:32, if you don't like the tone and what is discussed, and as you seem to know everything we've trashed within the last month, why not leave? Head on over to the syrup sites and pop up on their squee chairs. No one has demanded that anyone stay or leave.

ivy said...

@anonmousaba

It's not about legal responsibilities, sure there isn't one for wild guesses -) It's about reponsibility of writing in a public place when you don't know who's reading. I brought up internship leak cause it was the absolute worst thing to surface for AC, IMHO. It put both his reporting and his life at tremendous risk. And most of participants of these blogs are his fans or people who claim to respect him. It would suck to think you had anything to do with it, even indirectly, cause you can assume anything you want and share it with blog pals when you think no one else is reading.

ivy said...

2:32 I agree with you. It's silly to talk about not having "serious" comments when you're everything other then his show is discussed. And people who are accusing others of that aren't talking about his work either.

I dont' see anything wrong with apartment photos, and stalking issue is a very serious one which does affect his work. This blog had very serious posts about media, politics and subjects related to 360 coverage. well, people are interested in other things mostly, not just in the last few threads here, but on other blogs too. This is not 360 blog, comments here aren't selected. His show was very good the last 2 days but people aren't exactly interested to talk about it.

Betty B. said...

@ anon 2:32

"and the rest of your space is devoted to shallow amateur psychology about stalkers."

Do you have a name anon 2: 32? And if you do, do you care to discuss what it is YOU feel is so shallow about the stalking subject??????

If you want professional advice this is not the place to look. People are entitled to express their opinions and experiences. For many women this is a very important subject to discuss- wether you agree with it or not!

Anonymous said...

@anon 2:32

And you came here to discuss all these things positevely? First you complain that everybody claims to "admire" Anderson but being negative about him, then you call the blog a "fan mag for teens". Pick if you are accusing people of being fans or not being fans. You managed to contradict yourself in one short post. "Painfully disturbed", huh?

Christiane said...

Hi everyone!

I'm really glad you had fun with this blog, Thanks newsjunkie for giving me a hand while I'm having a serious writer's blog - at least professionally-.

To the anon, as many of you pointed out, this is an unmoderated blog, everyone is entitled to their opinion, some are controversial, some all girly and silly, its all part of it.

Although I strongly recommend the use of nicks, some of you decide not to ( probably because its easier to be nasty I guess) and as I have always said, each and every one of us is responsible of what we want to say. Good or bad, Nasty or nice. If you don't want to think twice before hitting the send key, ok, if you want to type under the influence, same! But it is very refreshing to read someone go overboard and noticing how they redeem themselves. It takes a lot of guts to admit errors. And newsjunkie is one gutsy gall.

For the "critics", FYI this blog have been a little bit of a roller coaster, I don't know if you have a blog, but it takes a lot of time. It started with three writers and right now I'm all alone, so the posts are mostly a reflection of my moods and time (or lack of), and as some of you that have been around since the beginning know, sometimes I don't even comment or have chance to participate in the comments section. We are VERY LUCKY to have GREAT participants. With very independent and loud voices. Which for me ITS PERFECT.
And if you are bothered with the stalking topics, well its been a staple of this blog. STALKING IS HEINOUS. And there is a huge difference between attending public appearances, following someones career through the media, and contacting or tracking down neighbors, family and friends. Which is what Stalker Boi so cowardly does.
There are over 50 million register blogs out there. If you don't like the blog, there are plenty more to chose from.

ramona said...

Anon 2:32 expressed an opinion just like everyone here does, why you are so aggressive towards him/her telling to go away from this blog (btw you're not in the "position" to ask someone to leave or stay, only the mod could do that).

ramona said...

Oh, the mod just did that lol. I did not see christiane's answer before my first post.

newsjunkie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
newsjunkie said...

Oh, and I just thought I'd add... I'm a very brash person- you should see me in real life.

I need a zipper for my face.

Anonymous said...

I'm a very VERY sensitive person on the inside (under all that bad-ass bravado I show on the outside)

Never expected to see an admission like this from newsjunkie. Pretty surprising.

we watched (a couple weeks ago) an ISP identifying as a Blackberry access us in three different places. The coincidences in the timeline, the device looking... yeah, we're pretty sure it was him.

Um, scary.

Anonymous said...

No need to panic, people. I access this site all the time from my own Blackberry, and because I travel all over the country, that is most likely me.

My husband thought it was very funny that everyone got upset with the possibility that Anderson had read this blog. I wouldn't think he had the time.

anonymousaba said...

@anonymous 10:06 a.m. I agree, as my access is global. My Firm has offices in NYC, LI, LA, Chicago, Wheaton, Irvine, Europe & Asia. I'm in each US office once a month and only access FreakSpeakers when I'm on the road. Today I'm posting in Chicago. I doubt he'd sneak a peek on this little blog anyways. His pictures, his pad, info all about him - that might freak him out. It's bad enough that he has to watch himself on TV. That's for personal critique, I would think. But to access blogs about himself; I agree with anon, that's pushing it.

newsjunkie said...

Say it with me now:

*Sharla Dawn is a paranoid, anal-retentive dumbass!*

It never occurred to me that it could be someone else. I mean, of course someone could be monitoring all the blogs to look for crazy people...

Hey look over here! Me! Me! ME!!

newsjunkie said...

Note to myself: Please apply zipper to face and tie hands together. My paranoia that someone has looked at the dumb shit I wrote has freaked me out because I'm so ashamed... and now I'm reading into things and imagining every horrid scenario I can think of... someone slap me.

Anonymous said...

@newsjunkie- what made you think they looked over here anyway? Have you seen it?

newsjunkie said...

I think I scared the hell out of people that Anderson himself may have looked at Freakspeakers. WELL DUH...

I've never seen the stats on this site, I was just told that CNN has a look at all the blogs before an event, to see the hype. And then I panicked... cuz I'm a dumb-ass.

I can see my own stats, of course, and no one fascinating has looked over THERE. Most likely because I'm not interesting I guess.

*and I'm online all the time because school is out and I have NO LIFE*

newsjunkie said...

You know.... I know I don't know him, and never will. I think what bothers me the most is that I'm a very VERY sensitive person on the inside (under all that bad-ass bravado I show on the outside) and I'm pretty damn sure he is too.

I finally figured out what happened- the subject was funny, the comments were going crazy... I FORGOT WHO I WAS TALKING ABOUT. That's what it was.... I forgot I was talking about HIM. That man, whether he knows it or not, made the biggest impact on me, more than anyone else ever has- you can read that on my own blog. And so to disrepect him that way, even without his knowledge, is what hurts me. I don't go around stabbing people in the back and that's exactly what I did.

I considered deleting all the damaging comments, I did. And no, I'm not going to do it. I don't hide from my mistakes, no matter how ugly they are. They will STAY RIGHT THERE, slapping me right in the face.

I hope we've learned something from this- we went all nutso and said some mean things. That's not what this blog is about. That's why this is the only one I read. We have a great merry time thrashing CNN and picking on them, but we like and admire Anderson. We just need to remember that, is all...

*and I pulled down my original post because I didn't want to scare the shit out of people. Talk first, think later. THAT is my problem. Sometimes I don't feel 31, I feel 10.*

MANIFESTO

Don't think for me. Don't assume what I want to hear or read. Give me facts. Give me reasons. But not yours. Bring me debate. Enlighten me. Today, accountability is masked behind anonymity; bylines are hidden by zeros and ones. Everyone publishes; everyone is "in the know." Ethics are non-existent. Speculation is king. The truth is masked and a hostage. Empowered by our minds, WE ARE THE FREAKSPEAKERS!

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